Age: 18

Sex: what?

Location: A small town in Wisconsin

Occupation: Nose picker

Birthday: 11/16/84

Likes: Long walks on the beach, cheese

Dislikes: Short walks on the beach, Dubya

Hero: Richard Nixon

Eats: Basically anything, even if it's not food. Except hot dogs. Those should not be eaten by anyone or anything. The author would not feed them to Fidel Castro, even in an emergency.

Eyes: Hazel

Hair: Random

Height: 69 inches (no, really)

Weight: 185,304 inches

Poops: twice a day

Anything Else?: Yes. I love Jimmy Carter


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